No Title.... For now

Well I havent written anything here in so long... Life has totally changed drastically... God has been blessing me left and right...I have a new job, and a new outlook on life.... I no longer feel like dead weight, or feel less than anything... I feel great.. On January 1, 2012 God revealed something to me that I had asked him to reveal to me.. I told him to be very clear cuz Im hard headed LOL... He definitely gave me an answer...So now Ive let go of someone that I have been holding on to for so long, and I feel so much better. I have no ill feelings.. Im not mad, sad, angry or any of that....I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and Im not even done with the process yet LOL...... I realize sometimes we cause our own problems... We hold on to people and emotions that God is or has been trying to move us away from... By not allowing him to do his will, we fall into a place of depression, resentment, anger, and we kill ourselves everyday. I had been dead so long I forgot what it felt like to live and feel happy and have joy... and Im not happy because of a man... Yessssss anyhoo Ive been getting my life back on track... Im about to find me a nice apt and things and begin to live for me, and my son cuz we are the most important people in my life right now...I will love again one day... simply because I love to love LOL... but I will no longer give love where it isnt wanted, appreciated, or required...I will give love to myself.. its time for me to be selfish, take care of me... and do what I enjoy.... It feels good to come to ur senses... Although I will always love him, he was a first of many things for me, I can no longer live the way Ive been living.. Trying to force something, when it has been gone.... Our love is strong, just not in a together sort of way... That makes a lot of sense... we still have that bond, its just not what it used to be.... and thats fine.. So now Im waiting on God to send me the one he REALLY made for me, not the one I chose for me...in some way I feel like I had that person, and I chose the wrong one.. I will forever regret that decision... Now hes off married with children.... He was the one... s/o to S.E. Green... but Im happy for him and wish him the best and I know all things happen for a reason... This was a lesson, Ive learned a lot from this journey and I have matured.... It was hell no doubt, but it was necessary nonetheless.... So here I go.. 2012 new me, new things.... moving forward, not looking back.. letting go and restoring me.... be on the look out cuz Tylia Patrice is on it... #idoit